I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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