oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
