BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize