How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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