someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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