wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
