You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I love you. Go after that dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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