Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
