I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
