I'm gonna have a badass scar
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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