I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
