Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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