so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He kissed a someone with a penis
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize