You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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