His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
