Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
