i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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