Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
