btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize