Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Boobs are out for the taking
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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