oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
