I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
