I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
