who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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