We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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