we have pet lesbian snakes
I have demons in me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
