It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
