Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
