He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
