My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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