when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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