hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize