he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
