they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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