is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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