yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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