I look better un-naked...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
