i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
