the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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