So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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