Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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