i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
