You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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