One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
