stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
