It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
