I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
