she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
