dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm passing your future prison.
I love having hate sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
