Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
