so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
