I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
