What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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