note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
