Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize