My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
