I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
