and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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