You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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