thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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