I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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