Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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