she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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