I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
