At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
