pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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