SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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